This is it, for now. So to close out the show, Bridget, Matt, and Quintin talk about all 100 movies (and definitely only 100 movies; they most certainly didn’t watch a specific movie from 1996) they watched for the podcast and rank them! It’s all just an excuse to reminisce about the past few years, and gather around one last time to talk about movies. But don’t worry, while the podcast is ending, we’ll still be around. We’re planning some big things for 2022, so check out our YouTube channel and social media handles in the near future to see what we’ve got cooking.
100 - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
Well, we finally did it: found a film that had the potential to damage children irreparably and involved characters living in a literal trash can. We couldn’t think of a better way to go out! So we talk about one last movie before calling it a podcast. One where tiny, disgusting little goblin “children” work in a sweatshop and pee and vomit and eat human body parts. Our work here is done.
So yeah, this is the end of the podcast. We have one more episode coming up where we talk about all of the trash (and some very good stuff) we’ve watched over 100 episodes before we move on to some other projects. But if you like us, be sure to check up on our social media channels and YouTube, where we’ll be posting our future video and film work. Who knows what you can expect, but if you’ve listened to the show you know we’ve had plenty of, uh…inspiration.
099 - A Very Brady Christmas (1988)
It’s a very special episode as Brady expert and Matt’s sister Laurie Spring is back again to talk about her favorite tv family. Listen in as the crew goes to business and talks about architectural sabotage, Alice’s indentured servitude, and disgusting pie-eating table manners. Will they find the true meaning of christmas? No, absolutely not.
Also, be sure to tune in to the next show for a VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT.
In two weeks: It’s always a good idea to turn a fad collectible card set into a major motion picture, right? So how could The Garbage Pail Kids Movie go wrong!?
098 - The Black Hole (1979)
World of Commotion’s Danielle Brown and Jarrod Staples join us once again to talk about another beloved Disney property everyone surely remembers. An intellectual property so ingrained in the public consciousness that Disney would have no need to go and pick up the rights to a different, more marketable science fiction property 35 years later! Only one movie has the backbone to explore topics like robo slaves, the origin of Satan, and what if Slim Pickins was a robot that suffered constant abuse, and it certainly doesn’t have a Skywalker.
In two weeks: Matt’s sister Laurie Spring joins us again to talk about Christmas, and how we can make it Very Brady. It’s A Very Brady Christmas!
097 - Cat’s Eye (1985)
Content Warning: There’s some talk of a plot point involving threatened sexual assault throughout the show.
In a world where every child is Drew Barrymore, the mob runs addiction management companies, and suburban houses have Troll infestations, only one cat can hit it big in Atlantic City and still save the day. From the drugged out mind of Stephen King comes the eternal question: what is this troll’s deal? Where did he come from!?
In two weeks: The World of Commotion crew joins us to talk about the live action Disney sci-fi epic The Black Hole.
096 - Sleepy Hollow Triple Feature
This week, we have not one...not two...but THREE adaptations of Washington Irving’s the Legend of Sleepy Hollow...for Halloween! First up, Bing Crosby constant body shaming in Disney’s The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949). Next up, the sweet sound of Glenn Close’s voice in Rabbit Ear’s partially animated The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Then finally, we lose count of decapitations in Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow (1999).
In two weeks: Dave Colonna (of Radio Free Brooklyn’s Dave and Giggles) joins us!
095 - Carnosaur (1993)
Only one dinosaur movie from 1993 had the audacity to tell truths that the big Hollywood studios were afraid to tackle. Sure, Jurassic Park hints at man’s folly, but only this Roger Cormon produced classic dares to float the hypothesis that maybe people are so terrible that all women should be killed by a virus that forces them to birth dinosaurs, dooming humans to extinction. Fans of nihilistic dinosaur puppets are in for the ride of their lives...probably in some sort of tractor trailer truck hauling live chickens.
In two weeks: Sleepy Hollow sure has had a lot of adaptations, and we’ll be here to talk about three of ‘em!
094 - Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Bridget’s original pick for episode 69 has everything you’d expect from a sexy romance film: pickup artist Dracula, terrible accents, trains, Beastman getting it on, and of course, discussions about real estate deals. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a woman excitedly share her bed with Bat Boy’s hot older brother!
In two weeks: Quintin finally gets to see what Fangoria magazine was talking about way back in 1993 regarding Carnosaur!
093 - Lady in White (1988)
They don’t make ‘em like they used to! I mean, how many murders do kids in movies witness these days? One? Maybe two? But do they witness upwards of 3 murders, relive several of them over and over, almost get murdered himself, and by a close family friend? So this week, Matt wants to bring us back to those simpler times, and to one of the movies that inspired the creation of this podcast.
In two weeks: Dracula, but horny. No, EVEN HORNIER. It’s Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
092 - Flight of the Navigator (1986)
It’s a kids movie that teaches important lessons like dealing with grief, the passage of time, not trusting the government, and the theory of general relativity! If you don’t remember this one, don’t worry. Neither does Sarah Jessica Parker, apparently! This podcast also contains multiple minutes about how we all just thought this movie starred Henry Thomas.
In two weeks: Baby Lukas Haas solves a ghostly mystery in Upstate New York in Lady in White.
091 - My Girl (1991)
This week, Bridget brings one of the most infamously traumatizing films from older millennials’ youths. The film that made us all distrust bees, learned to leave our lost mood rings in the woods, and assume we could die at ANY time. Returning to it 30 years later, there’s plenty of other trauma to pull from this movie! Vada Sultenfuss is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
In two weeks: NOT Henry Thomas takes a quick trip to the Phaelon system with Paul Reubans in Flight of the Navigator.
090 - The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)
CW: Sexual assault and child abuse.
This week, Fair is Fair! What does that mean? It means a couple of kids from Corpus Christi, Texas are going to get the 600 some-odd dollars they’re owed from a sketchy businessman and his degenerate son before shipping out for Vermont, land of maple syrup and seasonal outdoor sports. A movie so famous it got its own Pat Benetar theme and at least two Blu Ray releases. Really? You’ve never heard of it? But Billie Jean was so famous! They even made frisbees with her face on them!
In two weeks: Like sunshine on a cloudy day, we’re talking about My Girl (My Girl).
089 - The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin (1985)
We go on an adventure with special guest Christopher Brown (Old Men Yell at Cloud), a talking bear with a tape deck in his back, and a creepy old inventor whose only friends appear to be teenagers. So get ready to travel to the land of Grundo, a place with a name that sounds like it needs a shower, as we embark on a quest to find treasure, gawk at the aristocracy, and ponder just how any of these idiots has survived this long without falling out of an airship to their deaths.
In two weeks: Christian Slater receives his Clamshell Hat Trick with The Legend of Billie Jean.
088 - Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992)
Sure, the online discourse circled back around to 2017 with people talking about the short story Cat Person again, but we’re here to talk about ACTUAL CAT PEOPLE from 1992. So if you’re a fan of monster incest, deputized attack cats, cultural appropriation of indiginous myths, or Santo and Johnny, we have the episode for you!
CW: Sexual Assault at 1:02, Animal Abuse throughout.
In two weeks: Podcast Extraordinaire Christopher Brown joins us once again to talk about the 42-minute waking nightmare that is the live action The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin. No one cares about rights on this one so you can find it right here on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtASI_blv_0&t=1s
087 - 1776 (1972)
What better way to spend the week of the fourth going to the definitive text of the birth of America. You know, the one where the voice of KITT from Knight Rider is our nation’s (future) second president, middle-aged men complain about the heat and flies, and there are multiple songs about giving it to your wife real good, like a true patriot! Bridget excitedly brings this loose musical adaptation of the start of the American Revolution and the crew spends a surprising amount of time talking about...violins?
In two weeks: Is this the movie where we find out why Bridget has so many cats? We’re talking about Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers!
086 - Death Becomes Her (1992)
World of Commotion’s Danielle Brown joins us this week, bringing with her a fancy potion which she obtained from a mysterious, sexy, European lady. This woman claimed it’d grant us immortal life, but all we got were various hole-based injuries. Thankfully, this movie held up against the ravages of time!
In two weeks: Bridget finally brings her favorite bastardized version of US History to the crew with 1776.
085 - The Mighty Ducks (1992)
We’re closing out E-MAY-lio with Scott Kurland (of Writer’s Bagel Basket and Hell is a Musical) and getting way too into Minnesotan peewee hockey due to court appointed public service for all our previous podcast indiscretions. So join us for an inspirational story that includes the institutional racism of gerrymandered district lines and the court’s willingness to go easy on white collar offenders! Oh and there’s some cute kids and a bit of that ice puck game thing Bridget and Matt seem to like so much too.
In two weeks: Danielle Brown returns...FROM THE DEAD, with her best buds Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn in Robert Zemeckis’s Death Becomes Her.
084 - Young Guns II (1990)
E-MAY-lio continues, as does the saga of Billy the Kid. Or Billy the Very Old Man on his way to get the early bird special at his favorite diner, the Mexican Blackbird. Jarrod Staples (of World of Commotion fame) is back to talk Bon Jovi, blatant historical inaccuracies, and the worst (or best?) fake old person voice we’ve ever heard.
In two weeks: Scott from Hell is a Musical and Writer’s Bagel Basket is joining us to form a flying V to talk The Mighty Ducks.
https://www.disneyplus.com/video/9eb51380-54fc-4892-b3eb-62b1ec2511cd
083 - Young Guns (1988)
We’re kicking off E-MAY-lio with special guest Jarrod Staples and this slice of totally, completely accurate Western history. Sure, character ages and motivations are wrong, problematic caricatures are invented just for the movie, and the extended peyote scene makes almost no sense, but would we ever get to see Emilio Estevez’s butt without this film? Yes? Then I don’t know why we’re watching this either.
Also, if you’re interested in donating to the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch like Bridget and Quintin, you can check out their Gofundme link here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/23ihgxnlc0?utm_campaign=p_cp_url&utm_medium=os&utm_source=customer
In two weeks: We keep E-May-lio rolling with the second half of the Young Guns double feature, with Young Guns II.
082 - The Adventures of Milo and Otis (1986)
This week, we welcome Lilz Martin (of Jukebox Zeroes and Hell is a Musical fame) to go for a walk outside today. Join us to see what we find, today. Warning: it’s almost definitely animal abuse. No animal escapes, be it muskrat, snake, bird, cat, dog, fox, or bear! So skip the horror of watching the movie and listen to us have an impromptu therapy session!
In two weeks: World of Commotion’s Jarrod Staples is back to talk about ALL of Bridget’s tween crushes in Young Guns!