In honor of the 35th Anniversary/Public Execution of Mario, we’re talking about the movie that TWO major corporations and pretty much everyone involved in the production wish you would forget. With a bafflingly great cast (Bob Hoskins! John Leguizamo! Dennis Hopper! Samantha Mathis! Mojo Nixon...wait), how could this first-ever live action video game adaptation be a bob-omb? Join us in absolute confusion how a game about throwing fireballs at turtles was turned into a dystopian, anti-fascist, pro-comminist, hyper sexualized, cyberpunk movie!
080 - Blast from the Past (1999) - LIVE!
It’s our two year anniversary, and we recorded live in front of an audience of the internet, from the safety of our own personal fallout shelters! You voted for it, so we talk about Blast from the Past. So break out those champagne cocktails, box up those Rogers Hornsby cards, and settle in for a nice, sweet, kind-hearted movie. What, do you like us or something? We’re honestly baffled.
In two weeks: 1993’s second or third (depending on who you ask) best film about dinosaurs, and it’s number one film about plumbers: Super Mario Bros.!
079 - Face/Off (1997)
Peach? We can talk about a peach for hours. And we do! We clear out the dove infestation left by director John Woo and chat about this great act-off starring Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. We hit all the big topics: dove kings, salmon spawning, actors who have appeared on The Wire, and of course, the importance of blood type.
On Friday, March 19th: Join on for our first ever LIVE show, on Twitch! We’ll be talking about the movie that wins this year’s March Madness bracket and celebrating our two year anniversary the only way we know how: by talking into microphones for several hours.
078 - The Karate Kid (1984)
This week the crew strikes first and has no mercy talking about The Karate Kid. It’s a movie that deals in tropey Eastern Mysticism, but also talks about the horrors and realities of Japanese internment camps with more accuracy and honesty than any public school system in 1980s America! Also, some whiny kid really kicks the hell out of his bike. I don’t know, that whole plotline doesn’t seem that important.
In two weeks: We take our Faces...Off. And then put them on each other to go undercover. It’s John Woo’s Face/Off!
077 - Clash of the Titans (1981)
Special Guest (and Matt’s sister) Laurie Spring is here to Unleash the Kraken and talk about the open-mouthed, dead-eyed Perseus trust-funding his way into bed with the beautiful Andromeda in Clash of the Titans! Come for the amazing Ray Harryhausen stop-motion animated beasts, stay for their sweet, stop-motion abs and belly buttons!
In two weeks: With Cobra Kai being all the rage, Matt wants to take a look back at The Karate Kid.
076 - Blown Away (1994)
Welcome to Bahstan, kid! Jeff Bridges plays a BPD bomb squad officer with an inexplicably terrible accent. Tommy Lee Jones is playing a mad Irish bomber with an inexplicably terrible accent. Lloyd Bridges is playing a retired Boston cop who emigrated from Ireland 60 years ago but still has an...you get the idea. Together, they bend the rules of space and time as Boston is primed to explode due to what we can only assume is a bomb under every resident’s bed. Get ready to be...BLOWN AWAY.
In two weeks: It’s a family affair as Matt’s sister Laurie joins us to talk about the best robot owl film ever made, Clash of the Titans.
075 - Speed (1994)
Pop Quiz, hot shots! You have a wildcat cinematographer that wants to direct his first action film. He enlists a young polite Canadian and America’s ACTUAL sweetheart. If the film makes under $300 million the bomb explodes. What do you do? What, get on the subway? Oh, you don’t want to do that either…
In two weeks: Matt takes you on a walking tour of Boston and Quintin will probably complain about U2 as the crew talks about 1994’s OTHER mad bomber movie, Blown Away.
Rockin' New Year's Eve
Auld acquaintance may be forgot, but the Clamshell crew forgets nothing (except all of the times that we do). In this very special New Year’s Eve episode, Bridget, Matt, and Quintin give 2020 a boot in the ass, and rank their top and bottom five movies from the year (minus one film that shall not be named). Thanks for the memories, 2020 Clamshell Cases. You let us escape into worlds with stop-motion dinosaurs, talking gorillas, and a predatory upper class trying to murder the poor. Oh, come on!
In two(ish) weeks: We’re got a bomb squad ‘94 double feature for January. First up, Clamshell favs Sandy Bullock and Keanu Reeves in Speed.
074 - Twins (1988)
We’re ringing in the New Year with not one, but TWO New Year’s Babies, in the form of Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger, in Twins! Bridget decided to give the crew (and you listeners) a break from 2020 as we talk about this sweet, slightly misogynist but ultimately heartfelt Ivan Reitman comedy.
Later this week, join the gang as we hold our annual tradition of ranking the 5 Best and Worst movies we watched this year.
073 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
‘Tis the season...TO DIE. Apparently, in 1984, the only red thing more offensive to the American public than the Soviets was...a murderous Santa Claus. Gene Siskel shamed the producers on television. Phil Donahue had outraged parents on his show. Theaters flat-out refused to play the film. We...were not impressed.
Content Warning: Sexual assault.
In two weeks: We ring in the new year with not one but TWO New Years Babies...in Twins!
072 - The Lawnmower Man (1992)
We’re closing out Neurovember with a chain smoking, whiskey-infused Pierce Brosnan experimenting on chimps using virtual reality.. When that inevitably goes wrong, he moves onto Jeff Fahey’s simple landscaper, Jobe, turning him into a digital god with the powers of someone’s overpowered Original Character. Suffer with us as we talk about the way-too-long Director’s Cut of the film that Stephen King sued to get his name removed from!
In two weeks: Santa Claus is coming...TO KILL, in Silent Night, Deadly Night.
071 - Strange Days (1995)
Neurovember continues and Strange Days has found us. A weirdly prescient film that isn’t quite able to read the future room, the crew and returning guest John Crawford travel to the future of New Years Eve, 1999, where the most popular form of entertainment is Juliette Lewis. That’s it. Just Juliette Lewis, doin’ stuff. Singing. Dancing. Aiding and abetting murder. Strap in for a long episode of talking about Ralph Fiennes’ bad American accent and Angela Bassett kicking ass.
Content warning: sexual assault.
In two weeks: We’re closing out Neurovember with the Stephen King-in-name-only The Lawnmower Man.
070 - Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
We’re kicking off Neurovember with the tale of a far-fetched future of 2021, where a global pandemic has brought the world to its knees, pharma companies have a death grip on medical treatments, and nobody wants to go to Trenton. Special guest John Crawford is here talking about one of the formative movies of his youth, the Keanu Reeves vehicle Johnny Mnemonic.
In two weeks: John returns as Neurovember continues, with Katherine Bigalow’s cult classic, Strange Days.
069 - Crash (1996)
It’s Bridget pick and, it being episode 69, she decided to choose something extra sexy...a David Cronenberg movie! We’re talking about Crash, Cronenberg’s controversial film about symphorophiliacs who are ready to get down to some crash test dummy porn. Don’t worry, while things get steamy, it’s only because Matt and Quintin yell at each other for a while.
In two weeks: We’re kicking off Neurovember by welcoming back John Crawford to talk about Keanu Reeves in Johnny Mnemonic (and to suffer Quintin’s long winded odes to William Gibson).
068 - My Pet Monster (1986)
This week, special guest Grace Fobert takes a shortcut through the spinning fence to deliver the 1986 made for TV toy commercial, My Pet Monster. It’s time to break those neon orange chains, make a peanut butter and mango sandwich, and get your Tippy to the groomer, if you catch our drift (boing).
In two weeks: Episode 69, time to get sexy and talking about the horrific violence of traffic accidents in David Cronenberg’s Crash (1996).
067 - The Man Who Saw Tomorrow (1981)
As it was foretold in the quatrains of the renowned French physician, Michel de Nostradamus, the Clamshell crew welcomes special guest Orson Welles to talk about Ted Kennedy’s chances of becoming president, the third antichrist and his sweet blue turban, and to find out what they didn’t teach you in history class about...Hister? That can’t be right… Join us as we crack open that skull filled with fine French wine, and embrace our doom-filled future of 1999, and usher in the impending 27-year long WW3!
In two weeks: Special guest Grace Fobert joins us to talk about proper care and grooming routines for My Pet Monster.
To prep, you can watch it right here: https://www.youtube.com/
066 - RAD (1986)
Zero Science wunderkind Christopher Brown stops by the podcast to avoid his SAT make up exam and to make sure we’re all registered for Helltrack as we talk about one of his favorite movies, RAD. ALL CAPS. The thrilling story of a small town boy with Big BMX dreams, where the CEOs are drunk and sweaty and the unassuming, patriotic 30-something single women forget to turn off their ovens and develop unhealthy attachments to high school bikers. Do YOU have what it takes to become a factory rider!?
In two weeks: Matt (and Orson Welles) take us on a tour of the far off futures of 1984 and 1999. As Nostradamus foretold, we’re watching The Man Who Saw Tomorrow.
065 - The Haunted Mansion (2003)
This week we have a SUPER MEGA CROSSOVER EVENT! The World of Commotion Crew is here to talk about that famous 2003 Disney-ride adaptation...no no, sorry, not Pirates. We’re talking Eddie Murphy, Terrence Stamp, and Jennifer Tilly’s head! Why have we subjected you to all this? Well, Danielle, Jarrod, and Matt have been talking about The Haunted Mansion over on World of Commotion and, later this week, Bridget and Quintin will be appearing to continue the conversation! We’re...dying to tell you about it! Warning: that awful joke is better than most gags in the Haunted Mansion.
Don’t forget to check out Danielle and Jarrod outside the Zero Science network. If you’re in the Greater Boston Area and need a photographer for socially distanced portraits, may we suggest our wonderful guest? http://www.jarrodstaplesphoto.com/
And if you’re looking for amazing handmade crafts, check out Danielle over at www.treefortfive.com
In two weeks: Zero Science Network’s Christopher Brown is about to get Rad.
064 - Congo (1995)
Deep in the jungle of Zaire lies something so terrifying, no man has lived to tell the tale of its secret. That lost treasure? The origin of Ernie Hudson’s and Tim Curry’s accents in Congo. Don’t worry, listener, we have found it and survived to talk about it. You may know it as that movie what with the talking gorilla, but there’s so much more to it. Is it a good movie? Oh, no no no no, NO. Don’t be ridiculous. But it IS a lot of fun.
In two weeks: We welcome the rest of the World of Commotion Crew (fan favorites Danielle Brown and Jarrod Staples) onto the show to talk about that famous 2003 Disney-ride adaption...oh, not, not that one.
063 - Cool World (1992)
Special guest Allison White (@allisonwhtartist) and the CCF crew want to know if you ever watched Roger Rabbit and thought, “Gee, I sure wish this movie had more human-on-toon sex!”? Well good news, weirdo, Ralph Bakshi did! And so, he enlisted the help of Kim Basinger, Brad Pitt, and Gabriel Byrne and dumped them into the out-of-control trash fire that is Cool World. Marred by studio interference, a major story change, a lousy budget, and a director that clearly had never directed a live human in his life, Cool World is definitely partially animated, technically a movie, and an hour and forty two minutes of our lives we’ll never get back.